


Resuscitation

by mozarteffect



Series: Vegeta's Guide to Relationships [2]
Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Awkward Tension, Denial of Feelings, F/M, Goku is the biggest Vegebul Shipper, Kissing, Knowing CPR is good folks, Mutual Admiration, No I don't hate Yamcha do not ever accuse me of this okay ty, Oblivious Yearning, Set in the 3 Year Gap but not about it, Some Cursing, Sort Of, like one precision F strike but that's as bad as it gets, make sure you have your goblin prince's consent b4 kissing, this is just a lot of talking sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:15:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26264815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mozarteffect/pseuds/mozarteffect
Summary: (Sequel to Housewarming, sort of.)Another predictable scenario: Vegeta wakes up in the infirmary and is a little bothered he's there again.Unpredictable scenario: Vegeta has to have it explained to him what CPR is and that it had to be used on him.
Relationships: Bulma Briefs & Vegeta, Bulma Briefs/Vegeta
Series: Vegeta's Guide to Relationships [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1913092
Comments: 9
Kudos: 70





	Resuscitation

**Author's Note:**

> Yes I know I have other projects, but for some reason I got it in my head to do a sequel to Housewarming (right here https://archiveofourown.org/works/26198602 | warning for explicit/18+ content also the punchline is this is a humor fic and that Vegeta was having a dream sorry for anyone that thought I was really going to write lemon). You don't necessarily have to read Housewarming to get what's wrong with Vegeta, he's just...like that. But you know, stuff.

_Oh no_ , Vegeta thought when he woke up in the infirmary again. _What is it this time? Another dream?_ he worried. _No_ , he couldn't do that again, not another horrible, perverted dream!

Easing himself up carefully rather than shooting up like he usually would, Vegeta glanced around to make an assessment of the situation.

Yes, as expected, there was Bulma there sleeping--only, she wasn't wearing the pink dress like she would usually in his (embarrassingly recurring) dream. She was in the work overalls she usually wore when doing maintenance on the GR.

Wait...that's right, she had told him she needed to do maintenance earlier. Vegeta had outright ignored her and gone to train as usual regardless of her warning him that some important components needed changing.

Apparently, the GR exploded on him.

But more importantly, he wasn't dreaming. Bulma was rushing over to check his vitals and wipe off his forehead, which had begun to break out in sweat out of fear at the idea of...a repeat of...that dream.

"Geez, Vegeta," she was scolding him, gently adjusting his bandages. "You really pushed it this time, you weren't _breathing_."

If Vegeta wasn't distracted by his myriad of thoughts and the pain he was in, he would have shrugged dismissively. "I'm breathing _now_ , aren't I?" he scoffed.

"Yeah, thanks to _me_ ," Bulma shot back with a scowl. "I had to resuscitate you! You're lucky I know CPR."

The word CPR didn't mean anything to Vegeta, resuscitation did, so Bulma had to manually kickstart his heart and breathing. But--"How? I know for a fact that your technology is so _dated_ your resuscitation machines aren't--"

"Are you joking?" Bulma interrupted, "I used _mouth to mouth_."

 _Mouth to...?_ Vegeta wanted to answer her with something sarcastic, yet his mind completely betrayed him and shut down at the idea of, of--"You put your _mouth_ on _mine_?"

She _did that_? To save his _life?_ But that was _disgusting_! "That's unsanitary!" he snapped at her.

He expected Bulma to try and defend herself or yell at him and start an argument (which was always fun). Instead, she cracked a smile and laughed at him.

"What's so funny?!" Vegeta growled, offended that she was _laughing_ at him for expressing disgust at her spreading germs so _casually_.

The woman wiped a stray tear out of her eye as she shook her head at him, _smiling_ with affection like he told a joke. "You are! Most _normal_ guys would be flattered that I gave their ugly mugs a kiss, but not _you_ , you're worried about germs when the alternative was you not breathing!"

As usual, he ignored any comments she made about him being ugly. It wasn't like he cared. He cared much more about the abnormal word she used. "What in blazes is a _kiss_?" he asked despite himself.

He expected Bulma to mock him for not knowing, she surprised him by blinking, her mouth forming a little "o" of curiosity and astonishment. "You don't...? Do they not kiss in space?"

"Saiyans didn't," he corrected. "At least I've never heard of an action like that."

Why would anyone let their guards down like that by getting so close to someone and--pressing their lips together? He supposed there was a gesture that Saiyans used similar to that, however: "Saiyans would touch their tails or rub their noses together to show...affection. That's the closest I can think of."

"Oh!" Bulma's cheeks pinkened a little in...delight? Vegeta didn't know why she was delighted, but he would take it over her teasing him or being annoying in general. "That's--yeah! Kissing is how Earthlings show affection, too! Aww...that's cute."

"Saiyans are not cute," Vegeta automatically snapped, unsure of how to take that the lip thing was _affectionate_. Why would she be so _fine_ with referencing kissing him anyway? "The fact that you humans have this kissing thing _and_ use your mouths for resuscitation doesn't make any sense whatsoever."

"All right, you're getting a little overexcited," Bulma sighed, rolling her eyes. "You've been acting weird lately, but..."

 _Don't make me beg not to continue that tangent!_ Vegeta's frantic thoughts swirled around trying to justify his behavior as of late. He very well couldn't tell her _you see, Bulma, the old man gave me pornography and I only just now realized. Then I had a dream--a couple of times actually!--about reenacting the scenes with you! It's rather humiliating!_

"...You've probably had a lot on your mind," she finished her statement with a wistful note. "That's okay, you've been working really hard."

 _Yes, okay, that works._ He wasn't going to blurt that out, of course, she was right in a way--among the awkward thoughts about _her,_ he was unquestionably focused on his goal of ascending. He didn't focus on much else besides fulfilling basic biological needs and training.

"You're a dork and weird as heck, but actually I really admire your work ethic, Vegeta," Bulma said, smiling in a manner that _nobody_ had ever done with him before. He almost didn't realize that she was being sincere until he reminded himself that though she had _quite a lot_ of flaws, being a liar wasn't one of them. "You're definitely going to be a Super Saiyan, and I'll do what I can to make sure you get there."

All right...he wasn't expecting that sort of conversation to fall into his lap. Now Vegeta felt...somewhat bad for ignoring her earlier rather than letting her just do the blasted maintenance. Not that he would ever apologize or acknowledge that he was in the wrong.

Bulma shrugged, commenting next that she felt a little lazy in comparison since all she ended up doing was fighting with her empty-headed pretty boy paramour. A kinder part of Vegeta wanted to correct her in saying that wasn't true at all; Bulma worked herself very hard, almost to exhaustion with maintaining Capsule Corp. and all of his training equipment.

He was also aware that their last fight (and break-up number who-even-knew) was about how much Bulma worked, with Yamcha implying that she paid more attention to Vegeta than him.

 _"Are you kidding?"_ Bulma had groaned. _"Vegeta is training himself to death to fight these androids and he doesn't even_ care _about Earth. Maybe if you devoted as much time to training as you did to flirting with other girls and accusing me of making time with Vegeta..."_

Okay, he would never admit that he overheard that conversation and that he silently laughed at how mercilessly she tore down Yamcha's accusations and turned it back on him. (He didn't entirely know what flirting was but the implications the unhappy couple seemed to be throwing at each other were about their respective faithfulness.) Bulma Briefs really was a ruthless and formidable human, if she had decided to be a warrior Vegeta might not have survived his first trip to Earth.

While he was lost in his own head, Bulma had straightened up, stretching. "Well, I'll work on maintenance to fix the room. I left the capsule for the ship right there," she pointed out the bedside table, "I know it doesn't have your 500 Gs that you love torturing yourself with so much, but..."

It would have to do.

"Goku is coming here to deliver the beans too, so you can go back to your masochism hobby," she teased with a smirk.

Vegeta scowled, not knowing what masochism was and not caring as long as he could go back to training. (And besides, if masochism was about torturing oneself, wasn't her persistence in the relationship department similar? He would never comment on or point out such a thing, of course, she likely already knew.)

...He supposed he should thank Bulma for essentially saving his life. Yet the fact that his debt to her had been added onto left a bad taste in his mouth. He had no idea how to even out things between them again.

"And, sorry I stole your first kiss, but it doesn't count since I was trying to get you to breathe again and all."

 _And there it was!_ The vulgarity he had come to expect from that damned woman! Vegeta growled, hunching his shoulders and glaring at her, trying (more than likely failing) to look intimidating.

Of course, she didn't care. He remained unsure if Bulma Briefs was very brave or very stupid. "You can't steal something intangible, and I hardly care about this _kissing_ nonsense," he scoffed back in a surly tone. "I'm not an imbecile, I'm aware you wouldn't have done this unless the situation called for it."

(That stung. It stung? Why in the galaxies would it _sting_?)

Her expression grew gentle and, confusing him immensely, she shook her head. "Don't be so sure, tough guy. You're pretty cute, and I like that you never bullshit me. I do like you a lot, Vegeta."

 _What. Why in the name of--_ Vegeta could not stop himself from gaping at her as though she were insane. She was. She had to be. Nobody _liked_ him, they couldn't! They _shouldn't._ "You are a fool," he blurted out.

"No, I'm a genius, being a fool would be turning down a kiss from me!" she chirped back with her usual obnoxious pep.

Vegeta sighed, rolling his eyes and slumping back against the pillows. That woman truly baffled him, he didn't understand how anyone could be so brilliant and admirable in one sense and _abysmally annoying_ in another. He watched her straighten out the various tubes hooked up to him, the two remained silent--he wasn't sure what was on _her_ mind, but on his... "You're saying you would voluntarily kiss me?"

Why that thought possessed him, he didn't know, but Bulma's reaction of looking up at him in shock was almost worth it.

"Yes..." she responded, eyeing him warily. "But it doesn't count if I'm the only one that wants to, Vegeta, I'm not a freak that ignores consent."

"Okay then," Vegeta said with a smirk, crossing his arms and staring up at her haughtily. "I consent. Do your worst."

Though it wasn't a topic he was experienced in and though it might open up a can of worms he wasn't prepared to deal with, it was worth it for the flabbergasted expression on Bulma's face. She truly didn't know how to handle someone turning the tables on her in that manner, did she? It wasn't a conventional weakness to exploit, for sure, but he would take it regardless.

Bulma's expression hardened. She set down what she was working with and sat on the bed beside him, staring seriously into his eyes. "I'm going to do it, Vegeta. No complaining, got it?"

"As I said, do your worst, unless you're afraid," he taunted, summoning all of his discipline to not show how uncomfortable the _proximity_ made him.

She cupped his cheek tenderly, he could feel the softness contrasted with the calluses she had from her laborious work. At this angle, her eyes looked...rather clear, very blue, he could almost pick out all of the other shades of blue that were in her eyes besides the dominant. She was _uncomfortably_ pretty, gorgeous honestly. _I might have made a mistake_ , he thought, trying not to break out into a cold sweat as she leaned closer. Their lips had just barely brushed against each other when--

"Hey, Bulma, I brought the b-- _ohhhhhh_."

 _GODDAMMIT._ Kakarot had _just_ materialized into the room with his ridiculous circus trick of _teleportation_ with his _stupid smile_ and his _stupid bag of beans._

"Gee, uh," Kakarot chuckled, scratching the back of his head. "Sorry, guys, I didn't mean to interrupt."

"Never mind it, Goku!" Bulma shrieked at him, immediately pushing away from Vegeta and stomping out of the room. "Just give him the beans!"

"Okay, okay, see ya later Bulma, haha." Kakarot turned a grin to Vegeta when Bulma had left, tossing the bag of beans casually up and down in his hand. "Sooooooo..."

Something about his tone and expression was...abnormally smug...almost knowing and...vulgar. Vegeta didn't like it one little bit.

"Mind your own _fucking_ business, Kakarot," Vegeta snarled, grabbing the bag from him to eat one of the beans and _get back to training like he should have in the first place!_

"All right! I'm glad you guys are getting along though!"

 _Shut the hell up, Kakarot! We are_ not _getting along!_ Being all right with kissing wasn't getting along! Not at all! It wasn't like he was _disappointed_ they didn't get to finish what was started!

Gods, between having to literally revive him and dealing with Kakarot's clownery, Vegeta resolved to himself that he would lay off of taunting Bulma for _at least_ a day. She deserved a break.

(And so did he, though he would never admit it.)

**Author's Note:**

> Goku ships it, but we all knew that. Okay goodnight.


End file.
